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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a blind deer? No-eye-deer. What do you call a blind dead deer? Still no-eye-deer. What do you call two blind deer that died while having sex? Still no-fucking-eye-deer."

"What do Kermit the Frog and Henry the Eighth have in common? They share the same middle name."

"1st date: I love the spiderman movies Me: So do I [thinking of something to say to impress her] Me: I used to be a spider"

"What is the worst thing about getting hit in the face with PI? It never ends."

"9 out of 10 people said when polled, that they enjoy gang rape."

"You know what they say, once you go black.... You're a single mom."

"How many 1980s R & B divas does it take to fix a broken lightbulb? Just one, but they fix the crack by torchlight"

"I just want the confidence of my grandpa in church taking a call from the pharmacy on speaker phone to confirm his Viagra prescription."

"[to pharmacist getting my pills that make me stop talking about ET] long day? ""ugh I can't wait to go home"" know who else wanted to go home"

"My wife used to get so fat that she had to go to the hospital; then a person would fall out of her. That doesn't sound normal."