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Joke of the Day
"*stands by cucumbers at grocery store *feels intimidated *hides by baby carrots *gets ego boost"
Next Joke
"Yeah food is good but idk I guess I just always wanted to be able to devour souls as well"
"Did you hear about the Lawyer who showed up to court without his attache? (original joke) Judge threw him out, said he didn't have a case."
"Old people at weddings always poke me and say your next So I started doing the same thing to them at funerals"
"A knock on Tim Cook's Door Knock, Knock. Who's There? IRS. IRS Who? Tax Audit You Idiot"
"ME: long time no see! I heard you're a doctor FRIEND: I am. what do you do now? ME: [glances down at open twitter app] I'm a writer"
"What do you call a dream about soda? a fanta sea"
"Explosive knock knock joke ""Knock knock"" ""Who's there?"" ""Allah"" ""Allah who?"" ""ALLAHU AKBAR!"""
"Facebook: The only place where you get excited when strangers follow you."
"What is blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint."