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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the Lawyer who showed up to court without his attache? (original joke) Judge threw him out, said he didn't have a case."

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"It's called courting because you will need lawyers later."
"What do Eskimo's and Ziploc bags have in common? They both like a tight seal."
"Dogs have 10 expressions for ""I love you! I love you!"" and cats have 10 for ""I hope you die slowly in a fire but feed me dinner first."""
"Why can't Shia Joe travel in eastern Pennsylvania? Because it's always Sunni in Philadelphia."
"When I was younger I wanted to rule the world. Now I just want to spell words close enough that autocorrect can figure out what I'm saying"
"""Babe, is it in?"" *""Yea.""* **""Does it hurt?""** *""Uh huh.""* **""Let me put it in slowly.""** *""It still hurts.""* **""Okay, let's try another shoe size.""**"
"The 7-yr old has the flu so I'm letting her lick the envelopes of all my credit card bills."
"[couples therapy] ME: She thinks I make bad decisions WIFE: He traded our car for a skateboard THERAPIST: *writing notes* This guy rules"
"What do Trump and his supporters NOT have in common? His supporters have a blind trust."