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Joke of the Day

"Did you know some dogs don't pass the Police Academy? ...they didn't pass the pawlygraph test."

"For once my family is going to have a Happy Thanksgiving. This year I'm stuffing the turkey with Prozac."

"What is Hitler's favorite type of car? A fuhrari"

"How come people who think they know everything never seem to know when to shut up?"

"What did the pastor say when his blanket rose up from his bed? ""Holy Sheet!"""

"My friend lied to me about pooping in the slow cooker. What a crock of shit."

"I once had a friend who really wanted to get run over by a steam train When he did he was chuffed to bits"

"I won't believe the Groundhog saw his shadow until he updates his Facebook status."

"There are 30 cows. 28 chickens. How many didn't? 10"

"Dinosaurs could be a lot prettier if we'd all just admit they had feathers. I mean they would still eat you, but they would do it prettily."