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Joke of the Day

"What lies on its back 100 feet in the air? A centipede"

"What do you call 2 lambs dating? A relationSHEEP."

"Thanks, Santa! I totally wanted a hangover!"

"Why shouldn't you eat meat from pot smoking cows? Because the steaks are too high."

"Anyone remember the Boxer rebellion? Thank god it was only for a brief moment."

"I don't think this bowl of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups on my desk is making me as indispensable to the workplace as I had hoped."

"Cute skinny girls wearing weird mismatched clothes: hot quirky hipsters Me wearing weird mismatched clothes: homeless lady from the 80s"

"Why do sharks hate clowns? They taste funny"

"ME: want anything for breakfast? BOSS: just banana [struggling to hold office door shut] ANA: let me in! ME: sorry boss said to ban you"

"Anyone know where I can buy some camo pants? Can't find them anywhere."