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Joke of the Day
"Anyone know where I can buy some camo pants? Can't find them anywhere."
Next Joke
"Mad Man Wife: How would you feel if I die? Husband: I will go mad with grief. Wife (a bit glad): You wouldn't remarry, would you? Husband: You never know. A mad man can do anything!"
"I'm watching a guy on tv who makes a living simply by having opinions about hockey wondering which one of us is the bigger pile of shit."
"Population Control: Make birth control a psychedelic. You're welcome."
"If you like something, don't forget to really oversell it so it can disappoint everyone else."
"Spreading a woman's legs is like spreading butter... It can be done with a credit card, but I prefer to use a knife."
"In 2000 years, people will celebrate all this with chocolate eggs delivered by an imaginary rabbit. ~Time travelling me, to Pontius Pilate."
"What do you have to bring if you visit r/nsfw_gifs? Giffy Lube."
"Doctor's Office Roses are red Violets are blue I have an uncomfortable Bladder issue"
"Tired? There's a nap for that"