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Joke of the Day

"What's long, hard, goes in a vagina, out of a vagina, and leaves a whore feeling good about herself? An abortion hook."

"Pft damn police.... The lady down the street stands in her window naked watching me jerk off and *I'm* the pervert."

"The shovel was a ground-breaking invention."

"That voice inside my head has a different accent every time I read a new tweet"

"Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? Because he can't do stand up"

"I was once a man trapped in a woman's body. Then my mother gave birth to me"

"What's the most embarrassed tree in the forest? Oak wood."

"The Donner Party Diet Breakfast: Jacks Lunch: Franks Dinner: Patties"

"The other day I was wondering, why does a frisbee appear larger the closer it gets? And then it hit me."

"What do Led Zeppelin and New Orleans have in common ""When the Levi breaks, we have no place to stay"""