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Joke of the Day

"The other day I was wondering, why does a frisbee appear larger the closer it gets? And then it hit me."

"Usain Bolt doesn't know shit bout speed compared to a parent putting their hand over their kids mouth when they see someone w/ an eye patch."

"It was actually the muslims who invented the C4 explosive... But it was the US:Army who later added a remote detonator."

"Police are puzzled by the theft of the police station bathrooms. .. Detectives released a statement saying that ""They have nothing to go on""."

"I think tomorrow I'm going to respond to everyone using only lyrics from songs by The Dead Deads. Wish me some luck at the DMV."

"What do you call a french guy wearing sandals? Felipe Flop"

"The Water Fight Just had a water fight over the park with a bunch of local kids. I won! No one's a match for me and my kettle."

"My arm is asleep. Let's draw mustaches on it."

"Why aren't there any republicans in Star-Trek? Because it's the future."

"Dear Shirtless Guy in his Profile Pic, You REALLY want to impress girls? Get a job & pose in front of your cubicle."