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Joke of the Day

"""I'm Googling some people to play Wii with"" -2010: normal. -1997: weird as fuck."

"It's like the TSA doesn't even care relationships end cause we can't run through the airport and stop someone from getting on a plane."

"Say what you will about drag queens... but they get into more woman's pants than I do."

"You wouldn't believe how many laws I'm obeying right now"

"Why is Abraham Lincoln on the Penny? Because it makes cents (sense)."

"Why was the password a bad attorney? [OC] He was case sensitive!"

"Why can't Micheal Bay be a farmer? Because he dosen't have a plot."

"I gave 3 berries to my friend in a trail and got shot immediately... The sign never said they would shoot for trespassing!"

"Twitter, because I owe people on Facebook money."

"A man walks into a graveyard bar ""Can I get a beer?"" he asks as he walks up to the bar. ""I'm sorry,"" replies the bartender. ""We serve only spirits."""