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Joke of the Day

"Why was the password a bad attorney? [OC] He was case sensitive!"

"What does Fozzie the Bear do when he can't find a ride? Walk-a Walk-a"

"How is it that I always seem to buy the plants without the will to live?"

"""Stupid kid fell in the well again."" -if Lassie had been a cat"

"Relieved to finally get a new microchipped debit card that provides added security to protect the $13.68 in my checking account."

"'100% Yes!' '1000% Yes!!' '1,000,000% Yes!!!' I wish the X Factor judges would stop trying to top each other... and just top themselves."

"Marriage is like a trip to the museum... You have to be really quiet and you can't touch anything."

"I'm not a lucky man I once gambled on a couch and won a baby"

"What did the police say when they finished interviewing Dylann Roof? You're hired"

"How do you get herpes viral infection of the eye? Looking for love in all the wrong places."