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Joke of the Day

"If you're upset with someone, write down your feelings in a message. Put the message in a bottle. Hit them over the head with the bottle."

"Every idiot can use a computer. Most do."

"The waiter at the Mexican restaurant called me ""Amigo"". Am I in a gang now?"

"An asian with an STD he can't cure is herpress."

"My roommate said I might be schizophrenic. But what does he know I don't even have a roommate."

"What's a 68? You do me, and I'll owe you 1!!"

"Policeman: Didn't you hear me whistle at you? Woman Driver: Sure but I don't flirt when I drive."

"Can't wait to get off work, then I can finally stop staring at this damn computer, and go stare at a different computer."

"If you see someone doing a crossword puzzle Whisper in their ear, 7 up is lemonade."

"I'm trying to get my wife to quit smoking. Maybe I should slow down and use a lubricant."