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Joke of the Day

"Why would the Higgs Boson feel unsafe in a country where the leader openly practiced genocide? It would be a land of mass-murder"

"What does a woman's A**hole do when she has an orgasm? He's at home watching the kids"

"what's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm Rape!"

"I planned on watching the super bowl tomorrow, but... My inflatable couch doesn't have enough air in it."

"What do you call Magic Johnson in a wheel-chair? *Roll-AIDS*"

"Detective: someone's been stealing boats, can we look in your basement? Me: I don't have a basement *sound of foghorn from basement*"

"What did the FSB call the dissident who had been shot fifteen times in the head? The worst case of suicide they'd ever seen."

"Exposing myself to different cultures has an entirely different meaning than I thought. *puts trench coat back on*"

"Greatest Photocopy Machine 9Gag"

"France and Italy declare war on each other, who wins? Neither, Italy switches sides and France surrenders, both lose"