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Joke of the Day

"You know that guy who looks like that other guy in that show we used to like? He died. - how my wife and I communicate"

"An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either."

"It must be really hard to judge a wet t-shirt contest because I saw one recently and all the t-shirts looked equally wet."

"Officer! That guy threw sodium chloride at me! Police officer: That's a salt!"

"What did Hitler say to the Chinese food delivery guy that stole his Chinese food? MEIN LOMEIN!"

"9/11 jokes aren't funny. My dad died that day. Isn't it good that he was doing what he loved most - flying planes."

"Nose hairs must be the longest hairs on the human body. Every time I pull one it makes my arse hole twitch."

"I wonder what Ethiopian hipsters post on Instagram... But it sure isn't their food..."

"I didn't like Age of Ultron You don't even figure out how old he is."

"*presses wheelchair accessible button* *rolls 5 year old in on dolly restrained like Hannibal Lector* ""We're here for a haircut."""