74716

Joke of the Day

"Nothing creepier than a grown man drinking a glass of milk."

"Here's a really old one I"

"Why is it so hot in a stadium after a football game? Because all the fans have left."

"He said I won his heart and I was all ""Ugh can I just win like $20? How about a sweater from Sears? A pencil? I could really use a pencil."""

"I eat my pizza with a knife and fork because I am from a big family, and you need weapons to protect your food at all times"

"Where is Waldo? How do you find a blind man at an orgy? It's not hard."

"Why did Jesus lose his Halo? Nobody wanted to play on his team any longer after he had a 0 and 2 kill/death ratio and it took him 3 days to respawn."

"They said I had a small penis, but they'll see. They'll ALL see! Nevermind actually, that's illegal"

"My best friend was talking to me about proposing to his girlfriend. I'm not sure though, she's not really my type."

"An ostrich commits grand heresy against the empire. He is promptly ostrichized. No? ok."