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Joke of the Day
"What's the difference between a brown noser and an ass kisser? Depth perception."
Next Joke
"Psychic Apprentice is ready! Psychic Apprentice: I'm ready to open my own shop. I quit. Psychic: I knew this day would come."
"What's the main problem with Wookie steaks? They're a little Chewie. (Edit: Wookiee***)"
"Every day the cat climbs a six-foot glass-block wall and watches my wife shower. She thinks it's cute. I do it once and I'm creepy."
"The name of a cow trying to be a Knight... Sir Loin."
"I'm bored. If I were a man I would be scratching my balls right now."
"If you woke up in the woods with your pants around your ankles and vaselene all over your ass, would you tell anyone? Wanna go camping this weekend?"
"Me: Why am I suddenly sick? Friend: Probably the change in the Weather [earlier] Weather: *uncharacteristically puts poison in my coffee*"
"An Irishman walked out of a bar"
"So I invented a new beef and vegetable recipe, but it wasn't so great... It was meaty-okra."