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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a catfish and a lawyer? One's a slimy scum-sucking bottom-dwelling scavenger; the other is a fish."

"I signed up on Match.com... They set me up with a couch and a bottle of hand lotion... ...on the bright side it was my 1st 3-way."

"Did Russell Crow feel bad after he ate his wife? Nah! He was Gladiator!"

"6-year-old: Spill me some milk. Me: You mean ""pour."" 6: Not the way you do it."

"Someone should have warned me, that when you have kids, they talk to you, like, ALL. THE. TIME."

"A Bagpiper, a Kangeroo, an Irish poet, and Mother Theresa walk into a bar . . . . . . . the barman, who was drying a glass, lifted his head and asked, ""Is this some kind of joke?"""

"Girl Horribly Rejected https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=va9sVhWuAv8&feature=youtu.be"

"Why can't bears get jobs in Australia? They don't have the right koalfications!"

"Friends are a lot like snowmen... They tend to go away when you piss on them."

"What do you call the girls who outrun me? Virgins."