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Joke of the Day

"6-year-old: Spill me some milk. Me: You mean ""pour."" 6: Not the way you do it."

"My penis used to be in the Guinness Book of World Records. Then I got kicked out of the library."

"A proton walks into a bar and orders a dr pepper no ice The bartender replies with ""are you positive?"""

"Hey, girl at the gym that keeps moving to the opposite corner every time I get on the machine next to you, yes, I feel the chemistry too."

"Why doesn't Mexico have a team in the summer Olympics? Because all the ones who can run, jump or swim are ready in the US."

"Argument with a woman is like reading the Software License Agreement... . . . . . At the end, you ignore everything and click 'I agree'."

"Q: How do you make an idiot think he's a duck? A: Tell him he's a duck."

"My Grandpa said,... ""Your generation relies too much on technology!"" I replied, ""No, your generation relies too much on technology!"" Then I unplugged his life support."

"A real ice cream truck would have melted by now."

"Sunday and Monday stand back to back, spraying darkness in both directions."