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Joke of the Day

"I signed up on Match.com... They set me up with a couch and a bottle of hand lotion... ...on the bright side it was my 1st 3-way."

"What's worse than seeing your dad's penis? Seeing your mum's."

"Yesterday while I was talking with my girlfriend about Ebola, I asked her what she would do if I had Ebola... ""Ebola what, Cheerios?"" Best joke she's ever told"

"So a depressed horse walks into a bar.. Bartender says, ""Why the long face?"""

"[my dad and my 3 yr old daughter] Him: Hey sweetie how've you been? Her: I have a boyfriend Me: lmao *my daughter and I high five*"

"Do you know why they call Venice the city of romance? You can't spell canal without anal....."

"I went to the doctor and he gave me 2 months to live... I went to the doctor and he gave me 2 months to live. I shot him and the judge gave me 30 years."

"I wrote a poem that says: I dig, you dig, they dig, we dig It isn't pretty, but it is very deep."

"What is the national vegetable of Germany? *Michael Schumacher.*"

"For Sale: Parachute Never opened, slightly stained."