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Joke of the Day

"carpe natem Translate it if you don't know Latin."

"I was going to go camping for vacation... But I think it's too in tents for me..."

"They should have cast Daniel Craig in the 50 Shades of Gray movie They could have named his character James Bondage"

"I grew up in a small town that only had one general store, one bar and one prostitute. Mum found it pretty hard working three jobs."

"What do you call it when a chameleon won't change colors? A reptile dysfunction"

"TIL the propeller on a plane is a fan to keep the pilot cool When it stops, you can see the pilot start sweating!"

"What do you call a policeman with a thing for MLP? A clop cop."

"What's worse than being a tanning salon owner in Africa? Being a Somali Uber driver in Columbus, Ohio."

"My kids are always accusing me of having a ""favorite child"" which is ridiculous because I don't really like any of them."

"I would make a gay joke.. Butt fuck it."