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Joke of the Day

"Him: She's always doing magic tricks Therapist: Is that true? Me: Check your pocket. [he pulls out a piece of paper with 'NO' written on it]"

"The word of the day is: bishop My sister fell down the stairs, i had to pick the bitch up"

"I got 4,627 problems and 697 of them are toothpicks, 884 of them are threads on my pillow, 3,045 are leaves on these trees, and OCD is 1."

"What question would confuse a transsexual who used to be a woman? ""Have you ever been abroad?"""

"You're like a magnet... Your fatass is always on the fridge."

"Doctor Doctor I feel like a pair of curtains Well pull yourself together then"

"Don't you hate it when... ....You're giving a handjob to another guy and he turns out to be a gay ass fagot."

"Me: I got my first TOTD! It's exciting! Him: What's that? M: um, well, it's an imaginary trophy... H: well then I'm imaginary proud of you."

"Why are Russians so heartless? Because organ traders offer good price."

"Why buy it for $7 when you can make it yourself with $92 worth of craft supplies."