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Joke of the Day

"What is Donald Trump's favorite Counter Strike map? de_port"

"What do you call a black man flying an aeroplane?... ... a pilot, you racist fuck"

"Ate a whole box of donuts. But I ate them *really* fast so hopefully that counts as a workout and balances out the calories."

"Why did Michael Jackson go to Macy's? He heard boys' pants were half off."

"If the Indians would have given the Pilgrims donkey instead of turkey, we'd all be having a piece of ass for Thanksgiving"

"Two muffins in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, ""Is it hot in here or is it just me?"" The other one looks at him and replies, ""HOLY SHIT, A TAKING MUFFIN!!"""

"[From Basement]: *scary murdery noise* Me: oh shit Me: *makes slightly more scary more murdery noise* [From Basement]: Oh shit"

"Life was dangerous when I was young. We answered the phone never knowing who was on the other end."

"What has two thumb drives full of porn and forgot his laptop was hooked up to the projector?"

"What's grey and comes in pints? An Elephant."