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Joke of the Day

"Some dude just yelled at me for texting and driving...I told him to get off my hood and mind his own business."

"Some people just want to watch the world burn. Other people just don't vote for Trump."

"What's the difference between jam and jelly? I can't jelly my dick up your ass. hey-yo!"

"The liquor store clerk just wished me a merry Christmas as if she weren't going to see me 7 more times before then."

"Fox has cancelled American Idol. From Now on, if I want to listen to bad music, I'll have to listen to Pitbull just like everyone else."

"It's all fun and games until your iPhone is at 10% power."

"Poker? I barely know her!"

"Why does the dog go to the gym? He wants to get ruff"

"How do you best serve burned food? Coal'd."

"What do you call a vegetable optometrist? A sea cucumber."