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Joke of the Day

"I'm not racist because racism is a crime and crime is for black people."

"Guy comes home from work and catches his mate shagging his wife so he stabs him to death. His missus says, ""fucking carry on like that, you wont have any mates left""."

"How do the female members of the Human League Ovulate? They use their Philoaklian tubes"

"Please go play with your brother. That's basically the reason we had him."

"Why did John F. Kennedy take a cab home? Because he had too many shots."

"What do you call a boat with a hole? A sink."

"If I were to ask you to dance naked for me, would your answer be the same as to this question?"

"A porn star comes running up to a laundromat just as it's closing, offering to trade sex so she can wash her clothes. [nsfw] She just wanted to get one more load in."

"I'm old school when it comes to video games and by that I mean I turn into a senior citizen who yells ""which one am I?"" every 30 seconds."

"My grandfather died at Auschwitz He got drunk and fell out of a guard tower"