128800

Joke of the Day

"How do the female members of the Human League Ovulate? They use their Philoaklian tubes"

"What do you call a mentally challenged lion? A leotard"

"DEFINITION whats another definition of a goatee? a gay mans bullseye"

"Ambien: Where is your unicorn? Me: I don't have a unicorn. A: You better get naked and go into that Arby's and look for it anyway. M: Ok."

"How many animals can you fit into a pair of pantyhose? 2 calves, an ass, a beaver, a camel toe, a bunch of hares and a fish no one can find."

"2007: OBAMA'S COMIN' FER YER GUNS 2008: comin' 2009: almost 2010: any day 2011: seriously 2012: ok now 2013: i think.. 2014: nope 2015: well"

"I'd love the chance to relive my life, then I'd know exactly what people to kick in the crotch immediately upon meeting them."

"PATIENT: I've been so stressed out lately. What can I do? DR DOG (tail wagging like crazy): Studies show that petting dogs relieve stress"

"Interviewer: so your last job you worked in IT? Me: no, it says ""worked it"" I: worked what? [disco ball drops] [rips off pants] Me: ""it"""

"What did the alphabet have before it took a shit? A vowel movement."