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Joke of the Day

"When I see lover's names on a tree, I don't think it's sweet... ... I think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date."

"A man visits a prostitute The man says, ""I want to have sex with you for $200, but then I also want to hit you"" The prostitute asks, ""For how long?"" The man replies, ""Until I have my money back!"""

"I am opening a restaurant called ""Peace and Quiet"" A kid meal is 250"

"It's white, it's ceramic, and it taps on your door. Let that sink in."

"Two deer walk out of a gay bar... One turns to the other and says ""I can't believe I blew 100 bucks back there""."

"My wife tied me up before sex last night She then rolled over and went to sleep."

"This Valentines Day, I want to really surprise my wife. So I'm gonna introduce her to my girlfriend."

"What did Jupiter say to Saturn when he found out Saturn was pregnant? Did you planet?"

"A bunch of toilets were stolen from the police department... They have nothing to go on."

"What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor."