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Joke of the Day
"E....I...O...U...Y....A ugh, vowel movement. Sorry"
Next Joke
"Kids used to call me ""four eyes"" in school. I'm not sure if it was because of my nerd glasses or because I spelled my name Loriiii."
"What's the difference between a wife and a girlfriend? About 35 pounds"
"Why keyboards... Why keyboards don't sleep? Because they have two shifts!"
"Q: If called to testify in a trial how long will it before before Clinton commits perjury? A: When he's sworn in."
"Showing your love used to be buying them flowers or writing a poem. Now it's just looking at them for 5 minutes without checking your phone."
"What has two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog."
"What is a gay man's favorite vacation site? He loves to go to Bankok."
"Step On A Crack and Break Your Mother's Back... Smoke some crack and break your mother's heart."
"[couch shopping] Wife: Eh, you married to it? *a bead of sweat trickles down my brow as I hope she doesn't notices the couch's wedding ring*"