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Joke of the Day

"Showing your love used to be buying them flowers or writing a poem. Now it's just looking at them for 5 minutes without checking your phone."

"[interview] ""Describe yourself in 5 words."" me: Salacious. Professionally sensual. HR compliant."

"I had sex for an hour and 45 seconds last night. Thanks daylight savings!"

"I work to buy a car to go to work."

"My twitter crush just broke up with me for saying WWE wasn't real. The irony is not lost here."

"Wanna hear a joke?? Okay here goes, My ex-wife still misses me! BUT HE AIM IS GETTING BETTER! HER AIM IS GETTING BETTER! You see it's funny because marriage is terrible.-Stanley pines 2012"

"Mah friend asked me if i wanna know the opposite of Han I said ""nah"""

"Facebook is the second most popular word that starts with ""F"" and ends with ""K"" Firetruck is a very popular word!"

"Did you hear about the girl who went fishing with five guys ? All she came back with was a red snapper."

"I've heard that Americans don't find paedo jokes funny Guess they're just a bit touchy"