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Joke of the Day

"[couch shopping] Wife: Eh, you married to it? *a bead of sweat trickles down my brow as I hope she doesn't notices the couch's wedding ring*"

"Don't you hate it when dontyouhateitwhenpeopledontusespaces"

"I dont mean to sound racist, but why is my baby black? *doctor sighs for like 3 mins* ""Sir, its an ultrasound"" *Seinfeld bass riff for days*"

"Astrophysicists still struggling to explain the Big Bang Theory: ""It's a corny show! We just don't get it!"" said one astrophysicist."

"ME{from upstairs}: Honey, I'm gonna take a Buble bath WIFE: You mean bubble bath, dear ME: Right MICHAEL BUBLE: Are you getting in or what?"

"There sure are alot of the_Donald posts on the front page It sure makes me glad that 14 year olds can't vote."

"""I'll have a caramel macchiato, hold the espresso & milk."" ""Miss, that's just a cup of caramel sauce."" ""You heard me."""

"I organized a threesome last night. There were a couple of no-shows but I still had a good time."

"How many men does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, real men aren't afraid of the dark"

"How can you tell an introverted Techie from an extroverted Techie? An extroverted Techie looks at *your* shoes when he's talking to you."