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Joke of the Day

"Do you know how we know that Santa Claus is married? Because he only comes once a year! Merry Christmas. P.S. I'm sure this joke has been told somewhere but just in case someone hasn't heard it."

"What does a Mexican use to cut pizza? Little Caesars"

"I put methanol in the punch bowl... ...and now I can't find the punch line."

"Did you hear about the NASCAR driver who went the wrong way around the track? It turned out to be all right."

"I don't understand what you mean by 'stop drinking so much'. How else will you know how much I love you at 2am every day?"

"OB-GYN My uncle is a very accomplished OB-GYN. He is also incredibly humble, when asked what he does for a living, he casually responds, 'I'm in the cervix industry. '"

"My gay friend told me never to invest in real estate. He's super homophobic."

"What's the quickest way to make nine million dollars? Date Simon Cowell."

"Thinking of adopting a child. What color should I get? Keep in mind my walls are eggshell and cinnamon."

"Drug mules carry cannabis up their asses. That shit is dope."