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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the NASCAR driver who went the wrong way around the track? It turned out to be all right."

"Guy knocking on bathroom door after sex: I think I love you. Me stringing tampons together, making a rope to climb out the window: Okay...."

"What's an advantage of being Swiss? The flag is a big plus."

"Nothing beats a good math joke My penis is like an asymptote. It goes on forever but nothing ever touches it."

"The Pope is resigning... They say he's hearing imaginary voices from the sky.... and he also wants to retire."

"If you want to drink and drive you better bring enough for the whole highway."

"PSA: DON""T BUY A TURKEY FROM RALPHS We purchased one earlier this week and it shot down a Russian warplane :("

"You know how birds fly in a v formation? Do you know why one side is longer than the other? It is because that side has more birds."

"Life is like toilet paper... You're either on a roll or taking shit from some asshole."

"A little boy comes running to his mother.. ""I went into the bathroom and the light came on without me touching anything!"" ""Oh you idiot, you've pissed in the fucking fridge again."""