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Joke of the Day

"I used to work in a helium factory... But I left, because I didn't like the way they spoke to me... [Read the second part with a helium voice.]"

"What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? Nobody ever wants to borrow my hippo :-("

"What cat purrs more than any other ? Purrsians !"

"6'5"" guy: [starts a fight with me at the bar] me: [hides behind GF] GF: HEY, WHAT THE F- me: look, we need more strong female lead char-"

"The American education system obviously listen to Pink Floyd. They've left those kids a loan. EDIT: Woke up to find THIS :O"

"I had two ribs removed so I could pet small dogs easier."

"Donald Trump told me what his favorite childhood game was. Bashing the Mexican Pinata."

"Plot Twist: Africa adopts Angelina Jolie"

"Why were there 5 Mexicans in a Ford? It was a Fiesta"

"Taking that CPR class before Highschool... Led me to believe that choking and strokes would have occurred more often that I thought."