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Joke of the Day

"Plot Twist: Africa adopts Angelina Jolie"

"I want to work in salon.. So I can get paid to give facials"

"Aren't all these Chicken jokes getting a bit redundant and lame? Eggsactly"

"I'm doing it doggy style today. Lying on the couch not doing a damn thing. I will bark if you knock on the door."

"I generally don't trim my ear hair until it effects my peripheral vision."

"Some women are real drama queens during PMS They complain, shout, pout, argue, cry, sulk, call in sick, throw kitchen utensils ... ... I think they are just OVARYacting"

"I just had 'the talk' with my kid. You know, the one where you break the news that Batman isn't real."

"Do you ever pretend like you didn't see something so the other person doesn't feel embarrassed."

"In Catholicism, souls have mass."

"What do you call a baby panther? a Newton."