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Joke of the Day

"A Couple of underscores is to a couple of underscores? Ok. RT @McDonalds: #ShamrockShake is to spring as _____ is to _______."

"Things you need to know about me: 1- I'm lazy 2- hmm, one is enough"

"Did you hear about the soldier who had the entire left side of his body blown off? He's all right!"

"White lies are fine. Don't tell a black lie though. Black lies matter."

"The White House bar and restaurant, upon Trump's arrival, will reduce their beverage selections to just two choices: You can get a White Russian or an Orange Julius."

"A man asked Hitler "" Would you kill a jew for 8 pieces of gold? "" Hitler said : Nein."

"If I were a piano... ...I'd make sure my life ends on a high note."

"Whoever said the way to a man's heart is through his stomach... Was aiming a little high..."

"I just slipped on a banana skin. I look ridiculous in it."

"I'm applying for a position as a mall cop.... It has good job security."