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Joke of the Day

"A tree falls in the woods ... and no one is around to hear it, how is it I.T's fault. Because I.T didn't move the woods into the cloud."

"How much cocaine can a smuggler sneak into prison? a buttload."

"I thought I found my soul mate for a minute there, but he was just a pervert on the internet. *runs after him"

"If the creator of facebooks likes getting hurt... Is he a zucker for pain?"

"I'd like your advice on this, as long as it agrees with what I already did"

"Wife: Want do you want for dinner? Me: Surprise me. Wife: I used to be a man. Me: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Pizza."

"Her: OMG you're alive!!! I heard you bought the farm! ME: No no, I bought ""a"" farm. HER: but I told everyone you're dead! ME: That's fine"

"Father's Day is the day my wife gets on all fours and lets me do ANYTHING I want to her. I usually lay back and use her as an ottoman."

"What is love? Baby don't hurt me."

"My grandpa may be having trouble with his memory, but he still has a great sense of humor. He just told me this one: Why was the broom late for work? Because 7,8,9"