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Joke of the Day

"Love is a game where you try to balance an increasingly unstable structure before it crashes down. No wait nvm those are Jenga instructions"

"If you lend someone 20 Bucks, and never see that person again; it was probably worth it."

"A book just fell on my head. I've only got my shelf to blame."

"If I bought a balloon for $0.99 ... How much should I sell it for when I adjust for inflation?"

"I have a phobia of over engineered buildings I have a complex complex complex."

"Yeah sex is great, but have you ever rubbed your eyes for a really long time? O. M. G."

"It's sad when a woman has to get breast implants just to keep her husband interested... ...it's even worse when his are still bigger."

"A girl asked her mom if it's true that babies come out of where men put there penises. Mom said yes that's true. The girl said but mom wouldn't that break my Jaw?"

"What did the plant say to the vegan? Leaf me alone."

"People who say ""life doesn't come with a set of instructions"" obviously haven't heard of the Kama Sutra."