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Joke of the Day

"I can't help but be disappointed at the brand new Rolex I received for my birthday from the lesbian couple next door. ... I think they misunderstood when I said, ""I wanna watch."""

"Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff... Ba dum tiss"

"Wanna hear a dirty joke? Ok. The boy fell in the mud. Ready for a clean joke? Yeah. He took a bath."

"I've spent half my money on gambling, alcohol, and wild women. The other half I wasted."

"The Largest Organ **Q:** What's the largest organ in the human body? **A:** That depends. If you've just swallowed a Steinway and a Wurlitzer, it's probably the Steinway."

"If I ever win the lottery & someone asks me for money I'm going to give them a dollar & say ""Here. Go play the Lottery. That's what I did."""

"I leave notes around the house to remind me of things I need to do, like ""Pick up milk"" or ""Pay gas bill"" or ""Stop wasting your life away"""

"A Latvian Haiku Where is potatoes? This winter is very cold. Family is starve."

"What's pale, lives in darkness and sucks blood? A tampon"

"Man A: Would you suck my cock if I cleaned it? Man B: No.. Man A: You dirty cocksucker!!!"