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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a deer without eyes? No-eye deer! Note: we are from Hicksville, USA. This may not make sense without the Midwestern accent."

"How many Italians can you fit in a bathtub? Don'tworryaboutit."

"What do you do if you step on a landmine? Well standard procedure is to jump 50 feet and spread over a wide area."

"Tuba Player: Did you hear my last recital? Friend: I hope so."

"What is green and has four wheels? Grass; I lied about the wheels."

"The best part of having a beard is that it covers up like 40% of my terrible face"

"I thought about going into investment banking Then I lost interest."

"When I take my drugs on Sundays, I always say ""Body of Christ"" because I'm all religious and shit."

"Avril Lavigne: He was a boy. She was a girl. Can I make it any more obvious? Me: Yes you could. That is incredibly vague."

"A man came into the emergency room with six plastic toy horses in his ass... The doctors say his condition is stable."