167289

Joke of the Day

"What do you do if you step on a landmine? Well standard procedure is to jump 50 feet and spread over a wide area."

"Popeye teaches us that the best reason to eat healthy is revenge. #CartoonLifeLessons"

"8 year old daughter: I wish I had been born a twin Me: You were a very hungry fetus- Wife: Ok that's enough time with Dad for today"

"Keep an identical glass of vodka next to the water on your bedside table for a refreshing morning game of Russian Roulette"

"A black women names all of her 4 children Tyrone... How did she tell them apart? She looked at their last names..."

"Q; What do you call two fleas on top of a bald head? A: Homeless."

"Why did the couple bring a melon to their honeymoon? Because they cantaloupe..."

"I bet there are muppets that have thought about shanking Elmo."

"So tell me, what do you think of the rectum as a whole?"

"Why is Germany uninhabitable for cats? They have nein lives!"