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Joke of the Day

"Time 4 the 3rd debate, the political eqivalent of driving past a street corner several times to make sure u choose the least skanky ho! ;^)"

"What do Alicia Keys, Katniss Everdeen, and Joan of Arc all have in common? They're all girls on fire."

"What's another word for slaughterhouse? Lumbar mill."

"Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and they smell."

"When two idiots have the same dumb idea... special minds think alike"

"How did the farmer find his girlfriend? He tractor!"

"I asked my dad if he liked his haircut... He said he didn't at first but it's growing on him."

"Dad:why are your eyes so red? Son: i was smoking marijuana Dad: don't lie to me, you were crying because you're a faggot"

"Why don't blind people bungee jump? Cause it scares the fuck out of the dogs"

"My Grandfather has the heart of a lion. And a lifetime ban from the zoo."