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Joke of the Day

"How bad is my career? I met a homeless guy on the beach in Los Angeles & thought ""Wow this guy has it made"""

"A duck walks into a CVS... The duck walks up to the counter and says, ""I'd like to buy some chapstick."" The clerk says, ""Will that be cash or charge?"" The duck says, ""I'll just put it on my bill."""

"I'm not worried about Muslim suicide bombers They can only do it once. Those Hindu suicide bombers are the real threat."

"What do we call a wireless mouse? Hamster. Source: **Dad**"

"I thought I might try my hand at telling a German sausage joke I mean, what's the wurst that could happen?"

"Why are Indian the best in bed? They always come late."

"There is no ice cream in space because no one can hear you scream"

"What is the capital of the United States? Half of what it was last week"

"Cop: What happened? Me: A Smart Car hit one of those little Fiats. Cop: Can you describe the accident. Me: Adorable?"

"As I rise from my slumber the children scream in horror, as they did not know I was in the McDonald's Playland ball pit"