126940

Joke of the Day

"Why do mermaids wear seashells? Because D-shells are too big and B-shells are too small."

"""It started out with a Kiss, how did it end up like this?""- Me, after eating an entire bag of Hershey's chocolate."

"Doctor, my girlfriend grinds her teeth while sleeping. Dr: Put some coffee beans in her mouth and set the alarm for 7:30am"

"A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his pants... The bartender looks over and says, ""Get the fuck out of my bar, we're sick of hearing this goddamn joke."""

"I can't wait for my grandma to ask me repeatedly why I don't have a boyfriend ""because I'm such a pretty girl"". I'm a psycho, grandma."

"Being fat is just a giant trophy for all of the awesome food you ate."

"Tasteless Joke (NSFW) Knock Knock, Who's There? Two Dead Babies"

"Wife: Did you pay the mortgage yet? Me: Do you think surfers in India are called Hindudes? Wife: What? Me: What? Communication is hard"

"Why did the penis. . . Why did the penis stop going to the speakeasy? He was sick of ragtime."

"It can not get any worser. So I thought but as it seems I have really weak imagination."