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Joke of the Day

"[spelling bee] JUDGE: Your word is ""incorrect"" KID: I haven't spelled it yet JUDGE: No, that's your word KID: T-H-A-T-'-S JUDGE: No- KID: N-"

"Awww. It looks like the neighbors are having the police dept over for brunch.."

"grampa: i was sent to war when ur mother was a baby. i didnt kno if i'd see her again me: noo my uber stopped on the other side of the road"

"A man buys shares from the stock market. But he never shared any of it."

"A criminal tried to escape federal jurisdiction by running across the southern border, but then he had a sudden realization.. He was in Tasmania"

"A cow walks into a bar n."

"I was flirting with this teenager on the internet... ...after a while, she tells me she's an undercover cop. How cool is that for someone her age?"

"How to get free skydiving lessons. Step 1: Be gay in a Muslim country."

"I take my wife out everywhere... except that she keeps coming back!"

"I want what any normal girl wants in life... A great job, a loving husband and to be the wallpaper on thousands of iPhones."