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Joke of the Day

"I painted my computer black so it would run faster but now it doesn't work."

"Of course size matters. No one wants a small pizza."

"TIFU by trying to kill a spider with axe body spray. Now his name is chad and he's fucking all the girl spiders in my house."

"[at party] friend: is dave coming? me: cool dave or dave who likes watering holes & has amnesia? Dave: well, well, well..who do we have here"

"What's the hardest part about rollerblading? Telling your parents you're gay."

"Knock Knock Who's there ? Clown ! Clown who ? Clown for the count !"

"I invented a new joke: I invented a new word: Plagiarism Edit: Plagerism"

"I don't see why being an astronaut is so hard, school teachers do it. Get in the rocket, rocket goes up, rocket blows up. I could do that."

"Next time I cut out eyes in a painting to watch people from behind the wall, I'll use a portrait instead of a landscape."

"Why did the console player cross the road? To get the game 6 months earlier"