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Joke of the Day

"Watching movies with kids: If he/she hasn't seen it, eons and billions of questions. If he/she has seen it, eons and billions of spoilers."

"Why couldn't Helen Keller drive a car? because she was a woman!"

"Why wouldn't the mouse tell the police where he hid the cheese? Because he's not a rat."

"Telemarketer: Good afternoon, Sir. Me: Do you walk with a limp? Telemarketer: No. Me: Want to? Telemarketer: Thank you for your time."

"Chemists do tell jokes, but there's no reaction because all their people skills Argon. Omg, that's Sodium funny, right? Na? Okay."

"Anyone wanna buy any budgies? I've got two round the house going cheep!"

"Why doesn't God want to argue with Satan? Because Satan has more politicians to help him."

"My boss has stopped letting me leave early for my son's Little League games ever since he learned he's in his second year of college."

"If you put healing crystals in a sock and beat someone with it do they cancel each other out?"

"How am I supposed to show a girl I like her, if I can't even make her a mix tape anymore?"