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Joke of the Day

"Turn that baby's cry into a jazzy tune by putting a harmonica in it's mouth"

"Apparently showing the pharmacist a picture of my wife was not a good enough reason to get Valium without a prescription."

"I've already received over 150 RSVPs to my Halloween Shindig... It's going to be a Monster Party."

"Waiting for the day when parents finally admit that their kid is in fact ugly instead of thinking they have the most beautiful kid ever."

"Fox News' slogan is ""Fair and Balanced"". That's it. That's the joke."

"I asked the manager if I could sample the sausage and that's when I was asked to leave Costco. THE SAUSAGE Not YOUR sausage"

"Why did the cowboy ride his horse? Because the horse was too heavy to carry."

"what's worse than being adopted? finding out it was Rick Astley who gave you up."

"What did the polite bacteria say to the mouth? GingINVITEus in!"

"Did you hear about the nutty professor? He pursued a career in *m*acadamia!"