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Joke of the Day

"Does anyone know how much water I'm supposed to add to this baby powder to make an infant?"

"[cops knock on my door] ""Sir?"" ""Nobody's home."" ""Who said that then?"" ""My dog."" ""Jesus Christ, well do u know when Mr Hughes will be back?"""

"Why did the foreigner vote for Trump? He heard he would get to watch the inauguration on a plane"

"I WISH I WERE PAC-MAN SO WHEN I GOT UPSET I COULD EAT SOME CHERRIES & EVERYONE AROUND ME WOULD TURN INTO GHOSTS"

"What's the difference between eugenics and a charity marathon? The second one is a race for the cure. Source:http://www.smbc-comics.com/?id=3180"

"The problem was that everyone was poking my ex on Facebook. And in my bed And on my couch And in my car And when I was at work"

"[standing next to the boss at the urinal] Ok, don't act weird. ""That's some impressive bladder volume, sir."""

"Why did Hitler kill himself? The Jews sent him a gas bill."

"Telling my daugthers date that ""she has lice and its very contagious the closer you get to her."" *Correct way to parent."

"One thing that all us white guys from the suburbs can agree on is if a black guy has a British accent, we're 85% less scared of him"