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Joke of the Day
"Why did the foreigner vote for Trump? He heard he would get to watch the inauguration on a plane"
Next Joke
"Coworker: What did you do on vacation? Me: Didn't come to work. Coworker: I know that! Me: Good. Glad you understand how vacations work."
"A model train set is the male equivalent of 25 cats."
"I like my pasta like I like my prostitues With a little sausage"
"What's the difference between Britain and Australia? When one votes, it changes something, making things worse. When another votes, it doesn't change anything, making things worse."
"Fortune tellers I saw a fortune teller the other day. She told me I would come into some money. Last night, I fucked a chick named Penny. What are the odds?"
"Use of the word ""irony"" should be avoided, ironically enough."
"Hey, I lost my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?"
"What does an African child's mom say when it doesn't finish its dinner? What mom?"
"Had to stop watching Game of Thrones with my parents tonight, because of all the sex. So I've recorded it to watch after they've finished."