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Joke of the Day

"I WISH I WERE PAC-MAN SO WHEN I GOT UPSET I COULD EAT SOME CHERRIES & EVERYONE AROUND ME WOULD TURN INTO GHOSTS"

"The best cure for male pattern baldness is a six-figure income."

"Shoulder Devil: So I say ""Go on--do it!"" And the moron does it! Shoulder Angel: What an idiot! Me: You guys know I can hear you, right?"

"If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world."

"So, i wanted to know what my weight was. 'Holding your belly in is not gonna make you lighter' my wife said. But how am i supposed to see the numbers?"

"Teacher: Whoever answers my next question can go home One boy throws his bag out the window. Teacher: who just threw that?! Boy: Me! I'm going home now."

"I accepted the Microsoft terms and conditions without reading them, and apparently I'm now responsible for hemming all of Bill Gates' pants."

"This is Bob.. Bob has no hands. -*Knock, knock* -Whos there? -Not Bob!"

"I've always lived by the motto 'work hard, play hard' But the HR department is starting to get concerned and the guys I ball with at the gym hate when I guard them"

"When you are dead, you don't know you are dead but other people do. The same applies when you are stupid."