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Joke of the Day

"Did you haer about the dyslexic insomniac atheist? He would spend all night long awake thinking about whether or not there was a dog."

"People tell me that I'm condescending That means I talk down to people"

"I'm so progressive, I lock the car doors when white people walk by."

"What do you call the fear of chainsaws? Common Sense. I'll show myself out..."

"Are you tired of every day being the same? Congratulations, you're an adult!"

"What's the difference between a golfer and a skydiver? A golfer goes *thwack* fuck... A skydiver goes FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU- *THWACK*"

"I made a car entirely out of pencils, rubbers, rulers and notebooks. Went to turn the key.. Stayed stationary."

"A good way to know if your girlfriend is a lizard is if she eats a bunch of crickets or small birds"

"How can you tell if a groom is Polish? He would be the one with the clean bowling shirt."

"What is the most popular bar in the Middle East Aloha Snackbar"