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Joke of the Day

"Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick Jill's candy. Jack got a shock and a mouth full of cock, because Jill's real name was Randy."

"Whats the worst thing to hear when you have explosive diarrhea? ""Are you ticklish?"""

"*sings Hakuna Matata during your meltdown*"

"I'm against cloning. It's Adam and Eve, not Adam and Adam and Adam and Adam."

"I sing in the shower. I think I sound pretty good. The other people in the gym don't agree."

"AMD should make a self-driving car... ...because they specialize in creating things that don't come with drivers."

"The iPhone 5 will be able to print bacon"

"who says homosexuality isn't a decision? i turn women gay all the time."

"Jesus was in his room masturbating when Joseph walked in... Joseph sees him and says ""Jesus fucking Christ!!"""

"You know what gives me the shits? The digestive system"